Day 3

Dig Deep And Find The Reason For The Guilt

 

This is day three in our seven-day mini-challenge and it is time to dig a little deeper and get to the root causes for any guilt that’s holding you back. After all, you can’t work on something and start making improvements until you know exactly what it is. Digging deep and examining your feelings can get a little uncomfortable but don’t let that deter you. Keep pushing through. It is well worth it and you’ll feel much better once you’ve faced your fears and dealt with your feelings of guilt.

 

Find a quiet place where you can think for a while without being interrupted. If you prefer, you can work through your feelings in writing using a journal or the like. Some people find this helps them focus and stay on track. Otherwise, thinking through it can work just as well. Don’t forget that it can help if you first identify where the feelings are in your body. This can be hard at first but gets easier when you practice. If you find that you have a hard time pinpointing where your feelings of guilt are coming from, it can be helpful to talk it through with a trusted friend. Ideally this is someone who know you well and can guide you along the way. Encourage them to ask probing, open-ended questions until you get to the bottom of the matter. What you don’t want is there opinions or advice, though.

 

Let’s say you have been thinking of doing a little freelance work as a writer while you’re home raising your young children, but a feeling of guilt stops you from taking the first steps to give it a try. When you sit down and start to examine these feelings you start out with the idea that you will take away time you should spend with your family. As you think more about this and start to imagine how it could work, you realise that you have time while they are taking a nap or at preschool now and that you will have even more time on your hands once they start school.

 

Digging a little deeper, you realie that you’re worried about how getting back into your old profession could be perceived by those around you. Your partner may feel like you don’t have enough time for them, and the neighbours may think badly of you if you focus on your freelance career. By facing these thoughts, you realize how silly these fears are. In most households both parents work and you would have the added benefit of a flexible schedule you could control.

 

You start to feel a little better about the whole idea, but there’s still a knot in your stomach. There is one more feeling that’s holding you back and it’s the thought that’s manifesting as guilt. You realize that what you’re really worried about is that you won’t be good enough. You’ve been home for a few years and haven’t done much writing, freelance or otherwise. What if no one will give you a project to work on or publish your writing? This is the real issue and the one you can now work on.

 

What might be holding you back from doing that thing you’d love to do?